i miss my lover. i miss my best friend. i miss the man who made me a mommy.
and yet here i am without him, its only been 2 days. but it feels like a million.
i look at my phone every five minutes hoping he will call, though i dont know what id say. if i told him how much i love and miss him it would make it worse, yet not to tell him would be a lie.
i cant believe he hasnt called. i want to know he is in pain too. why wont he give me that small satisfaction?
i have to meet up with him and the bitch next week so he can see the baby. ive never dreaded anything more in my life. im afraid the second i see him i will dissolve into a puddle of tears and snot and incoherent words at his feet.
this may be the hardest thing ive ever tried, getting over him.
Friday, January 11, 2008
i dont know what to say
Posted by Baby*Mama*Elyse at 6:03 PM
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The only thing i can possibly say is that i feel and certaintly know your pain!! As u know, i am trying to heal after a break-up and it ain't going well. Yes the uncontrollable crying has stopped. Now i have the "controlled" crying. Big difference right? I must say i definitely kept talking to my friends.ALOT. I think i may have bored them to death with my whinning but that's what friends are for right?? And as we all know and have heard "time heals all wounds". I wanna punch the person who thought of that phrase. (insert laugh here!!) But seriously, feel sad. Remember what you 2 had together. Be mad.Then look at Arabella(beautiful name by the way!)and u should instantly feel a 1000% better. If you don't get it out, it will linger on forever and u won't be able to start to move on. i'm not saying i'm the greatest at giving advice b\c i am still stuck on my ex--but i did let it hurt so i could start to heal. If nothing else, you have us girls to talk to and cheer you on!! We are rooting for you!! woohoo. And to hell with that new trollop! She ain't got nothing on you!
one thing you must do...be strong around that woman.
do not cry, and do your absolute best to act as though nothing bothers you.
he has hurt you, but you showing it gives him the satisfaction, and the power to continue doing it.
fake it. fake it. fake it. if only long enough to get you through that visit.
i am sitting here with no stupid calls either. after a lovely show and dinner, and other stuff...
it's horrible they don't feel things the way we do, if they feel them at all.
stupid jerks. stupid boys. stupid jerk boys.
OKAY I NEED HELP SINCE I'M NEW HERE. YOU SAID RIP, IS THAT JUST TO THE RELATIONSHIP OR DID HE REALLY DIE? WHO IS THE BITCH? IS HE MARRIED? UGGG I SO NEED FILLED IN
misguided mommy - hi there :) thanks for reading.
no he isnt dead, just our love is.
and i realize that admitting this (i have been very careful not to say it outright up till now because i am so ashamed) makes me sound like a "hussy" but yes he is married.
in my defense they were seperated for a while...still no excuse, i know.
hardest lesson ive ever learned.
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