absurdity

he expects me to THANK her. because she provided insurance for my daughter, which i would have provided myself had she not FORCED it on me. this woman is the bain of my existance, the one person who makes my heart and words ugly, the reason for my rage and senseless rollercoaster emotions. she insults me daily, tries to boss me around, tries to BREAK ME DOWN and make me feel 1 inch tall. she has insulted my CHILD, calling her a bastard child. now she expects a THANK YOU???? for something i said NO to 20 times before finally giving in just to get her to SHUT THE HELL UP???? she expects me to deal with her and not the father of my child, as if i am raising this baby with her??!!!! well she wasnt there when arabella was created, or throughout my pregnancy, or when she was born, and i SURE AS HELL dont need her help or input now!!! and then he calls ME a bitch, because i said thank you to him and not her. he has NO FUCKING CLUE what i am going through, because i just keep my mouth shut to spare him from my unending wrath and hatred. i am about to throw up i am so angry. i hate being this person. i wish i could go back to the day i found out i was pregnant and just keep my MOUTH SHUT and not tell him a damn thing. i hate who ive become, what my life has become, and what it will be. i have never been more miserable. i am terrified of the future, regretful of the past, and exhausted with the present.
I FUCKING HATE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!