exhausted to the point of insanity

...and i say im insane because instead of SLEEPING while my beautiful baby is, i am up at 10pm redoing my myspace page and reading blogs...ahh! she is going to wake up in just a few hours, and its all downhill from there (sleep wise)
I have been sooo sleep deprived lately. I have starting putting her in her crib..i felt it was time, at least for half the night. but in trying to get her to STAY in the crib, i end up getting up at least 3 times a night to feed and put her back, if not just to soothe. me thinks this is a little counter productive! so i am a zombie. but my myspace page looks good. ha!

school is good, but hard, and time consuming. I have a paper to write, and a chapter to read ( a long one ) and a quiz to study for this weekend. bah. thats another better use of this time...writing that paper. ah well.

I am still losing weight!!! Yeah baby...down almost 15 lbs so far!! :)

Okay..im off to waste more time and feel guilty about it.!

oh the madness

It's Saturday!! Yeah!
I just weighed myself and I am 154.2!!!! I didnt think I was going to lose 2 lbs this week but I did!! WOOOOHOOOOOO!!!! I love my new heart rate monitor I just bought. It totally makes me work out harder and I get to see exactly how many calories I am burning. I just need to stay in the "zone" more...I kept going over my THR.

So I got an email from my professor for my first class at school. She sent us the syllabus and some other stuff. I already have an assignment due and class hasnt even started yet! :- I have to write a paper on three different achievements throughout my life. Of course we are going to share it with 5 people in the class so I cant make it too cheesy. I got most of it done last night. But there is also TONS of reading I have to do, not to mention all this other little bullshit. Im thinking...oh shit, what have I gotten myself into? How am I supposed to do all this, take care of my baby, work, and work out all at the same time??? And i kinda started having an anxiety attack. But I just need to be SUPER organized, have my whole week planned out, and do everything on the weekends and at night when Arabella goes to sleep. Who ever said it would be easy right? Oh, and not only do I go to class one night a week, but am expected to meet with my learning team (other students) once a week for 5 hours!! Thats gonna be tough. Yikes.

So, I am not doing much this weekend. Nothing fun to do when you are totally ASS BROKE. I mean I have NO money. That is another major stressor right now. But what am i supposed to do? So i just try not to think about it. Arabella and I are going to hang out at home, go for walks, watch movies, the usual. Javi is coming over too, and will probably spend the night tonight.

Anyways, I need to go make some coffee!

teacher, teacher!

I am going back to school!!! I am so excited. I had started University of Phoenix online about a year before I got pregnant and when I found I was prego I quit. I had completed 24 credits. So now I am going back in the on campus program. I will go one night a week, Mondays, from 6-10pm. Each class is completed in 5 weeks. That way I will be done in a year and a half. I am majoring in human services, and my enrollment counselor was telling me about all the jobs I could get as a counselor (making pretty good money!) with just a BA! And the coolest part is I can get a job in that field with only 60 credits!

So while I am excited I am also scared and anxious..it will be a lot of work and I have to make sure I have someone to watch Arabella...plus I dont know how well she is going to do in her nightly routine without me there. :-( Ideally Javier will come and watch her but who knows! I am just proud of myself for continuing to work hard and really stoked at the potential career change that will happen in 1.5 years! I have always wanted to be a counselor!

So, yayyy me!!